Review: Eye of the Tiger

1986
Directed by: Richard C. Sarafian
Category: Action

I had always been intrigued by this film. During my many browsing sessions, I'd seen it constantly pop up in my feed on Netflix for a really long time. It popped up so often that I just went ahead and added it to my list. But of course, as is always the case, when I finally decided to sit down and actually watch it, they took it off. I was able to grab this as part of an Action 4 Pack from Shout! Factory for under $5, so I figured what the hell? I have no excuse now.

You know, this wasn't a great movie, but it wasn't a bad one either. It's just kind of there. Gary Busey was a total badass, and though I'm used to seeing him as a villain, or a supporting character in bigger films, I thought he did a fantastic job as the action hero in this one, playing a guy who is just released from prison for being a troublemaker, only to end up pissing off the wrong guys - in this case a biker gang - and who now finds himself fighting back instead of being the rebel rouser he once was.

What Eye of the Tiger does have going for it, other than Busey's badass performance, is a lot of style for such a small film with little substance. While it seems that director Richard C. Sarafian has worked primarily in television, and a few small scale Direct-To-Video flicks, his use of the camera in this particular film is impressive. Eye of the Tiger is pretty standard paint-by-numbers stuff, but aesthetically, it looks like it could easily have played at your local cinema.

Shout! Factory's 4 Disc Action Pack

One of the things I found frustrating about this is that the film does indeed have moments of action and surprisingly hard violence, but those scenes are few and far between and not nearly enough to live up to that badass poster art, or the expectations you've built up in your head based on said poster art. It always feels like there should be more; if anything to liven up the story a bit. It's a shame too, because when some of those scenes do come around, it always seemed to catch me off guard in how brutal and surprisingly violent they are in their out-of-left-field approach. Most of the action is saved for the last 20 minutes, and it's pretty awesome in an all-out action set piece, making it the highlight of the film.

There's nothing in Eye of the Tiger that particularly stands out, other than the randomness of seeing Busey as the action hero lead, but it's a good watch if you're in the mood for some old school 80's revenge shot surprisingly well. The bottom line is that for a film about Gary Busey taking on a biker gang, it should be more awesome and way more exciting, but ultimately it's not a bad way to spend an hour and a half of your time.

Bad Movie Night: Megaforce

Image courtesy of 80ssountracksaor.blogspot.com

1982
Directed by: Hal Needham
Category: Action

I can't believe I'd never gotten around to seeing this until now. Sure we've all seen that hilarious sequence involving star Barry Bostwick on a futuristic motorbike as it leaps off the ground and tries to land inside a moving plane, all done to gawd-awful blue screen work that makes it downright hilarious. If you haven't come across it, it's bloody brilliant, terrible, and fucking hilarious all at the same time. But I always wondered if the film itself was just as entertaining as that one sequence. This weekend I decided to finally tackle this somebitch.

I couldn't help but notice something peculiar in this shot.

Directed by legendary stunt coordinator, stuntman and director Hal Needham (Smokey and the Bandit 1 & II, Cannonball Run 1 & II, Hooper, Rad), Megaforce was a bonafide box office disaster and pretty much dead on arrival. I'm sure they were trying to cash in on the big Trash & Exploitation craze hitting the market, but unfortunately Needham and his team decided to go the PG route, which offered nothing in the way of any gratuitous nudity, violence, blood, and gore; all the things we've come to expect from this type of film. So it flopped.....big time. Nobody wanted to see a watered-down PG-Rated Trash flick. But a funny thing happened. As with most flops, especially those from the 80's, it's since become a Cult Classic, with an ever-growing following and fan base. After having finally seen it, I can certainly understand why.

Megaforce is silly, cheesy, 80's ridiculous fun. Were these the traits the filmmakers were going for at the time? Probably not, but as with films like Flash Gordon, Albert Pyun's Captain America, and Masters of the Universe, it's all about the cheese baby, unintentional or not, and that's what makes Megaforce such a fun trip down 80's lane. There's nothing in here that will change or define the genre, and I doubt that this film was ever meant to. However, the constantly sly wink-at-the-camera approach often makes you wonder how much of the silliness you see on film was done on purpose.

Image courtesy of WorseMoviesEverMade.com

Barry Bostwick is a marvel in this. That blow-dried hair, that beard, the unforgiving skintight suits that he always leaves open at the top just enough to expose his bare chest, that awkward, yet over-confidant stance, and his boyish smirk; Bostwick shines as the star. The supporting cast is alright, with Henry Silva as the villain particularly making a strong impression, but it's all Barry Bostwick's show here, and the film is all the better for it.

While the film as a whole didn't contain a whole lot of action, or nearly the level of action I was expecting for a film like this, it's charming enough to keep you invested and entertained, even through a few of the slow parts. Hal Needham directs this thing surprisingly well, even infusing the film with some "out of left field" style, utilizing color schemes and compositions that you wouldn't normally expect from a film like this, or from a Hal Needham film in general. Of course, that could all be the Art Department or Set Decorator's involement. In either case, it's impressive and adds that special dash of 80's neon cheese to the mix.

Nothing in Megaforce will blow you away, but for a good time, some 80's cheesy nostalgia, and a few laughs, this will certainly fit the bill. Nothing in the film will equal the hilarious awesome of that "bike in the air sequence", but it's a trip well worth taking.

Bad Movie Night: The Stabilizer

Bad Movie Night flyer I made up for our screening of The Stabilizer

1986
Directed by: Arizal
Category: Action

After the amazing Final Score blew me away, I felt it only necessary to do a little more research on this director known as Arizal. I soon discovered that the guy is pretty prolific, with only a handful of films being made in English, or starring a Caucasian actor. With the few that were readily available at my disposal, The Stabilizer seemed like the most logical choice. Every single review on any site I went to gave it rave reviews in terms of how silly, hilarious and enjoyable it was in a Bad Movie Night kind of way. I was immediately sold, and thankfully, and somewhat shockingly, Troma has released this officially under their banner on DVD, so it's easy to buy on eBay or Amazon for a decent price.

The Stabilizer is the epitome of Bad Movie Night. This film was so incredibly odd, hilarious, crazy, and running at a mile-a-minute pace that it never once felt tiresome. While it doesn't contain the level of WTF? action sequences that Arizal filled Final Score with, the action is pretty much nonstop throughout. Though it's all rather impressive, with some of it being just downright insane at times, even with a poor stuntman looking like he could have possibly died or broken his back, the sequences never get to the level of absurd I was hoping for. But that's not such a bad thing, because the film itself is filled with so many "absurd" moments in general that you'll be equally be enthralled in it's ridiculousness the entire time.

New Zealand actor Peter O'Brian, looking a helluva lot like a knockoff Rambo, is a revelation in this. Never having acted before, it shows, but goddammit is he fun to watch. Seriously, this film would not be anywhere near as entertaining had he not starred in it. Though his hilariously dubbed voice is amusing in and of itself, his stoic, deadpan physical delivery is what seals the deal on this one. I wouldn't necessarily call him an actor, but physically, he fits the bill to a "T". Everything from his unemotional facial expressions that never seem to chance; no matter what the situation, his insanely over-the-top outfits that scream 80's, his curly mullet thing he's got going on, and his ability to kick the living shit out of someone using his entire body make for one helluva entertaining experience. While he's only appeared in a handful of films, the story goes he was discovered at an airport in Indonesia by the Punjabi Brothers producing partners, and cast in a few of their films simply because he was Caucasian (International appeal), and because he looked so much like Rambo. Whatever the real story may be, thank gawd they found this guy. Needless to say, I'll be on the hunt for everything he's ever appeared in.

It's pretty standard stuff story-wise; O'Brian plays The Stabilizer, a guy who works for the government who specializes in............."stabilizing" the balance between good and evil. That's not me trying to be funny or clever, it's in the actual fucking movie. He's sent to Indonesia to stop a big time drug dealer and in the midst, discovers he's the same guy responsible for killing his wife years ago. With the help of a few others, he infiltrates the organization and all hell breaks loose. 

While Final Score played it straight, and most of the time coming off as hilarious because of it's terrible acting, dialogue and dubbing, The Stabilizer seems to know how silly all this is from time to time because there are some truly bizarre moments that no normal thinking human being would include if they weren't in on the joke. But then again, maybe they had no clue and all this was on purpose? Regardless, there are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments where you'll holler "Ooohhh" or "WTF?!". So from an entertainment level, The Stabilizer is pure Bad Movie Night gold.

If you've never seen or heard of this, do yourself a favor and DO NOT look up the trailer. Just buy it, gather some friends together, have plenty of alcohol, and watch it. It'll be quite the entertaining experience.

Trick or Treat UK VHS Cover

Trick or Treat VHS Cover scan courtesy of robotGEEKSCultCinema.blogspot.com

After discovering this 80's gem this past year, it's quickly become one of my all-time favorite horror films. Perfectly capturing cheesy, horror, metal, and entertaining, I would consider this to be probably one of the best horror films of the 80's, as well as being the best Rock n' Roll horror film ever made.

Sadly, in the U.S., all we have is a VHS release, and a lame as hell full frame DVD with a pretty shitty cover full of stock images of Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne, who look nothing like their characters in the film, which consist all of less than 5 minutes combined. 

While there has been a Blu ray release recently in other parts of the world like Germany and Italy, we have yet to get one here in the states. Some of those Blu ray releases are Region Free thankfully, but it's not cheap. Still worth the purchase in my opinion as it's such a great horror film and would look simply stunning in a cleaned up transfer and in it's original widescreen aspect ratio. 

Bad Movie Night: Hard to Die

Hard to Die VHS cover scan courtesy of BFMovies.blogspot.coom

As I mercilessly pour over countless bad films in the hopes of finding that one diamond in the rough, I've discovered that for every 1 good bad movie, there are a good 10 just plain awful ones. And I have to be honest, it gets discouraging after repeated viewings of lame bad movies with no entertainment value or redeeming quality. But, every once in a while a gem is discovered in the sea of this specific little niche, and Hard to Die AKA Sorority House Massacre 3 is one of those films.

Directed with gusto by Jim Wynorski (Chopping Mall), back when he was at the top of his game (80's through the early 90's) so to speak, Hard to Die is a bad movie fans wet dream. It really is. It possesses everything you could possibly want in a bad film, and it's all amped up to 11 on the entertainment scale. What we have here is 5 women dressed in lingerie, stuck in a high rise building with a killer. We have tons of unnecessary gratuitous nudity, bad acting, tons of machine gun action by the lingerie wearing females, cheese, action, horror; the works! And let me tell you, it's all entertaining as hell in an epicly cheesy way.

I'm surprised that I never heard of this film until recently, considering it was released in 1990. Even more surprising is the fact that though you'd never know by it's title and cover art, this is supposed to be the 3rd film in the Sorority House Massacre series. But when the entire film takes place inside of a high rise building rather than a Sorority House, the producers decided to change the name. And I don't know about you, but that cover and title do nothing to tell you what the film is actually about, instead giving us the false idea that this was a low-budget actioner, when in reality, it's a pretty badass action/horror film drenched in 80's cheese (yes I know it was released in 1990). And on the So Bad It's Good scale, this one exceeds the highest mark on that particular scale, making it easily one of the best Bad Movie Night additions I've come across so far.

Before I go any further, please allow me to clear a few things up concerning this VHS cover. First of all, the two images of the females in leather on the left and on the spine are not in this film. I have no idea where they got those images from. Secondly, disregard that cover completely as it makes it look like something completely different, and that is a paint-by-numbers low-budget action film. This is anything but that. And lastly, that whole "It's the female version of Die Hard" quote by none other than Joe Bob Briggs. This is "NOT" a female version of Die Hard. Not by a long shot. So there, just forget all that dodgy marketing. It's ridiculous. And believe me when I tell you that Hard to Die will exceed your expectations of gratuitous T & A action/horror, and won't be the same lame paint-by-numbers droll we've seen countless times. No sir. This is Bad Move material at it's finest!

What was interesting was that even though they got rid of the SHM affiliation in the title, they have a huge flashback sequence that goes back to the first SHM film, giving us that odd connection to the trilogy after all, which seems totally random and out of nowhere. But, even though this takes place in an entirely different place, the character of Orville Ketchum is the driving force behind this film, who also just happens to be the person they suspected was the killer in one of the previous films. It's a little complicated because they reference a lot of what goes on in Part 2, yet they show scenes from Part 1, so I don't know. Regardless, you don't have to have actually seen either of the first two films as the whole flashback sequence lays it all out for you. Orville Ketchum is now working as a janitor in the high rise office building and when bad things start happening, the lingerie employees immediately suspect Orville as the culprit, and go about trying to survive long enough to see daylight.

There is so much about Hard to Die that defies logic or explanation, that I often wondered what was done on purpose and what was a happy accident. But, even if some of the silliness or cheesiness may have been on purpose, it's done in such a way that you more than likely won't be able to tell. It's silly, cheesy, tongue-in-cheek, and quite ridiculous, but in the best possible way. The amount of absurd in this film goes to epic levels, and by the end, you'll have a gleaming smile clear across your face.

Jim Wynorski, under the alias Arch Stanton, directs with a frenetic and stylish energy, reminiscent of his excellent work on Chopping Mall, that it more than likely will leave you a little bummed that he doesn't churn out classic's like this anymore. This is the sort of film I had been hoping to come across for a long while now. The kind of film I was hoping Murder Weapon would be. It took a while, and a lot of duds, but I'm happy to report that Hard to Die is easily one of the best, most enjoyable bad movies out there.

Now time for some bad news. This is a very hard film to find. It's original VHS and DVD release goes for big money on the secondhand market, so you more than likely won't pay any less than $50 for either the VHS or DVD. It sometimes becomes available on YouTube intermittently, or you can find a rip online for under $10 from various sites. Which ever way you get it, trust me when I say that it'll be worth it. It's just fucking awesome.

Review: The Guardian

1990
Directed by: William Friedkin
Category: Horror

It has been a good long while since I was this impressed with a solid horror film. The closest one I can think of, in the adult horror genre anyway, would be the excellent and highly underrated Exorcist III. But this was a film I had known about since it first hit theaters back in 1990 (The BEST year in film), yet somehow I never saw it. I also knew it was directed by William Friedkin, so I'm even more surprised I didn't try harder to find it, considering how much I love him as a filmmaker. But alas, when it popped up on my radar again recently, I finally decided to see if I can get my hands on it. Easier said than done.

The Guardian is not an easy film to come by apparently, and even harder to watch it in it's proper aspect ratio, which is a big deal for me with certain kinds of films. Released on Laserdisc, DVD and VHS, there are only two ways to see it in Widescreen. Anchor Bay's now long OOP DVD has it available in both Full Frame and Widescreen, but it's not cheap, as is the case with most OOP DVD's. These days that DVD goes for anywhere from $50 - $200 on the secondhand market. Then I learned that Anchor Bay also released this in Widescreen on VHS, in one of their special Collector's Edition Clamshell packaging. I nearly flipped when I discovered this, as I still collect VHS and there's no way I'm paying crazy online prices for an OOP DVD for a movie I'm not sure is even any good. So yea, that only brought up a new problem. This VHS Collector's Edition is also insanely hard to come by. Geez! So I found a new VHS seller on Instagram by the name of @NeonCityVideo, and they had it! I couldn't believe it. While I was at it, I snagged some other tapes I've been after, and all at incredible prices. So yea, I'm quite happy with my purchases. This past Sunday afternoon I threw this tape in the 'ol VHS player and what followed was one of the best horror experiences I can remember having in a long while.

When Phil and Kate move to a new city, after Phil takes a new job, they discover they're expecting. When the baby arrives, they decide to hire a live-in nanny to care for their new baby. Camilla seems too good to be true; the perfect nanny. Soon though, they discover that Camilla has her own agenda, and she may not be the person they thought she was. 

Anchor Bay's Collectors Edition VHS in Widescreen

The Guardian exceeded my expectations in the best possible way. The best way I can describe it is that it's a classy horror film; the kind that they don't make anymore. That specific little sub-genre that films like Candyman, The Exorcist 1 & 3, and Psycho II fall under. It's exceedingly rare - what with nothing but Japanese ghost horror remakes, and jump-scare over-CGI laden lame horror films - that it's damn refreshing when something original comes out, that's made in such a way not to insult our intelligence like so many cheaply and quickly made horror films these days. This has a strong beginning, middle, and end, and quite frankly displays some of William Friedkin's best work. This is Friedkin firing on all cylinders.

I remember checking out the trailer, and thinking that I wasn't all that impressed with what that trailer provided. It looked a lot more of a drama, and not much style or substance. Yet, something told me to seek it out anyway, and boy am I glad I did. After having finally seen it, I'm kind of dumbfounded as to why it's not more widely accepted or known in the horror community as a classic. It's got everything that makes these films so great, and all the right ingredients. Friedkin directs with such a keen eye for style and structure, that everything flowed perfectly. Never once did I find the film to be too slow, nor too short. It's as long as it needs to be, and gets everything right.

Though you'd never guess it going in, this film displays some truly impressive practical effects work, oftentimes adding that extra bit of awesome to an already intense sequence. But the few gore sequences scattered throughout the film can't prepare you for the films stunningly impressive climax, one that you'll surely be thinking about for days after. I commend Friedkin and his team for not going the CGI route, and for not skimping on the gore, when it so easily could have been the other way around.

If you can ever get your hands on this, I highly recommend it. Though attaining a DVD will be hard, if you ever find it streaming on some site, or if you ever come across the Widescreen VHS, grab it! Trust me when I tell you that it's worth the effort. Here's to hoping that this gets a nice Blu-ray release some day in the future.

Review: T-Force

1994
Directed by: Richard Pepin
Category: Action

Director Richard Pepin is quickly becoming one of my all-time favorite action directors. With just the two films I've seen of his already, he reminds me of an Albert Pyun on his best day. The Albert Pyun who gave us action cult classics like Cyborg and Nemesis. A low-budget action director who's firing on all cylinders, who's able to give us what we want. What is that exactly? For die-hard action fans, that's just nonstop insane over-the-top action and stunts, not to mention a seemingly endless supply of explosions at any given moment. After being blown away by the insanely "better than you expect it to be" Hologram Man, I set out to find as many of his other DTV efforts as I could, in the hopes that Hologram Man wasn't a fluke. Guess what? It wasn't. First up, T-Force.

So, the most promising one, The Silencers, has been ordered and on it's way. But I then learned that T-Force was available on YouTube, and chose this as my Saturday night film, and let me tell you, T-Force did not disappoint. Just like with Hologram Man, the action starts right from the beginning and does not let up. Immediately you're treated to something that can only be described as a mish-mash of Die Hard and the Terminator, and that's just in the first 20 minutes! Then they throw in elements of Cyborg, Blade Runner and even some Under Siege for good measure. But it's all done in the best possible way. Much like I had during Hologram Man, I had a smile across my face the entire time.

When a group of cybernaught police officer's, known as T-Force, revolt and go rogue, Lt. Jack Floyd teams up with the sole remaining Cybernaught who's on the right side of the law to track them down and bring them to justice. 

I really can't praise this film enough in terms of entertainment value. T-Force has everything you could possibly want in an action film. Director Richard Pepin executes these enormous action sequences with such precision, that I find it shocking that he never made it as an action director in big budget studio films. He's like the Craig R. Baxely of the 90's, after Baxely stopped directing action films after his triple trifecta with Action Jackson, I Come in Peace, and Stone Cold. He must have a pyrotechnics expert always by his side because the amount of explosions in the two films I've already seen are nuts! How they were able to pull most of this off blows my mind. Not only in terms of the insane amount of pyrotechnics work, but even going into the stuntwork.

There is nothing new or inventive in this film, or with any of his films as I'm sure I will discover. Yet, I didn't expect there to be. It's a direct-to-video film marketed to the action genre, with some sci-fi elements thrown in. We don't go into these kinds of films expecting them to change the genre, or reinvent the wheel, so when I see reviews from others basically saying things like "It is what it is, no more no less", or "It does it's job", it drives me nuts. Just what did you go in expecting exactly? Personally, I want good action, well choreographed sequences, gun battles, practical effects work, stunts, and a whole lot of explosions. Maybe even some cheese factor, just for that little bit of extra awesome. On all these fronts, T-Force delivers and then some. Not only that, the hodge-podge of other well known action films only made the experience better! But wait, they don't stop there! They also decide to throw in the mis-matched cop/buddy scenario, to great effect. I honestly couldn't have asked for anything more and I loved the shit out of this film. Every single minute of it.

Despite what most of the negative reviews have to say about this, this is exactly the type of film that delivers if you're in the mood for cheesy, low-budget well-made action with tons of action and explosions. It really doesn't get any better than this. I think the fact that it steals so many elements from so many big name Hollywood action films, sometimes specific scenes and sequences (you'll know which ones I'm referring to) altogether, only adds to it's cheesy charm. While low-budget technically, it doesn't take away from anything, so don't let it. It's a balls-to-the-wall thrill ride with enough charm, action, explosions, fights, shootouts, and a mind-numbing thrill-a-second pace that easily makes this one of the most enjoyable action films I've seen in a long time.

Review: The Executioner Part 2

Image courtesy of TrashFilmGuru.wordpress.com

1984
Directed by: James Bryan
Category: Grindhouse/Exploitation

I'm all for Grindhouse films. I love that shit. But even I have a threshold, and this film really pushed my limits of how bad a film I can endure before I just completely give up on it. First things first though. I had heard about this a few times, and I can't remember where I read it, but someone said it was crazy and all that jazz, which got me excited. Only once I started watching it and saw the credits did I realize it was written and directed by none other than James Bryan, of Don't go in the Woods fame. If you've done any kind of research on the guy, you will come to learn that most people are not fans of his type of guerrilla-style filmmaking. While I personally have never seen any of his films, I hoped for the best, thinking that maybe Grindhouse would be more his calling. Nope. Not by a long shot.

A Vietnam vet, with nightmares of the Vietnam War, has taken it upon himself to rid the city of violence, by using........violence. 

The Executioner Part 2 was so gawd-awful on every single level that I could not find one single redeeming quality. Nothing works, and everything looks and feels like some 13 year old kid went out with a Super 8 camera and gathered a bunch of friends together and shot a film on the whim. That's exactly what it looks like. Nothing is entertaining, even on a sub-par level. The action is terribly shot, choreographed and edited. The acting is atrocious. The violence is lame, even by low-budget standards. The dubbing is laughable. All of this, combined with the zero budget make for an excruciatingly painful experience that not even usually cool Chris Mitchum (Final Score) can save. Yes, he costars in this as the police commissioner completely unaware that his best Vietnam bud is actually the masked vigilante known as The Executioner. *Facepalm

One of the most obvious signs of its zero budget is the constant use of the same exact stock footage explosion used in every single sequence that involves the vigilante dispersing some vengeance with a hand grenade. After the second time you're thinking "alright, that's enough". Also painfully obvious is the use of shitty lighting equipment to enhance certain scenes that look like they shot it in a dark alley as the sun was going down. You can actually tell that the lighting guy is holding a crappy light, and waving it in front of their faces to add just that extra bit of light sorely missing from virtually every single frame of film.

I liked the story, as simple as it is. And I liked the stupidly awful, yet kind of amusing lines of angry dialogue the executioner spouts whenever he's ready to off someone, but even that doesn't save this mess. The acting is so bad in this, that it's actually annoying. Every time the two teenage girls would open their mouths, I wanted to shut the sound off. I would be shocked to learn if anyone in this ever acted in anything ever again. Yet, surprisingly, the main guy who plays the vigilante, actually wasn't so bad. Go figure.

Just in case you were wondering, there actually is no Executioner Part 1. Somehow thinking this was clever marketing, they deliriously thought that they could cash in on The Exterminator vigilante series starring Robert Ginty, of which Part 1 came out in 1980 and Part 2 came out the same year this one did. So yea, don't bother looking it up. There is no Executioner 1.

The Executioner Part 2 contains all the things that make these types of films so great and certified classics, yet somehow, this particular one fails so miserably at all that on every conceivable level, leaving you numb from the painful experience you just had. It never goes far enough to satisfy in any department, be it the nudity, the sleaze, the violence, the badness, and worst of all, the entertainment. This poster is the coolest thing about this film Skip it!!

Bad Movie Night: Soultaker

1990
Directed by: Michael Rissi
Category: ???

This was a film I'd known about for years, having come across it many, many times browsing VHS tapes from various sites. The cool cover art always stuck out to me, as well as the glowing reviews by no-named critics plastered all over the front. But I never took the time to actually track my own copy down. Then a friend who participates in our Bad Movie Nights wanted to screen it for our group, as it was a film he quite enjoyed for it's awfulness. Since I had been wanting to see it anyway, and also knowing Mystery Science Theater did a very popular episode of this, I was game. What followed was one of the most excruciating film experiences I've ever had.

Soultaker is bad, and not in a so bad it's good kind of way. It's just flat out terrible. I'm still not entirely sure what the premise was supposed to be, or even what genre this was supposed to fall under, but I can assure you, none of that matters, because you'll be bored to tears by this shockingly bland and uninteresting piece of celluloid.

At times giving us hints of sci-fi, and other times touches of horror, the only real genre I think that would define this would be drama, because a whole lot of nothing happens for such a drastically long time that you find yourself looking at the clock hoping that more time has gone by than you think, just so the experience can be over and done with. 

I'm not even going to bother with much more than that, as any attempt at actually trying to watch this movie is an exercise in futility. Trust me, you've got better ways to spend an hour and a half than with this mess. While the whole point of watching Bad Movies on Bad Movie Night is to laugh, yell and hurl insults at the tv screen, which we love to do, this was the rare exception, because there was nothing to make fun of. It's soulless, boring, and below mediocre in the worst way possible. I think my friend said it perfectly when the film was over. When the film was over, my buddy leans over and says "Dude, that was just absolutely terrible". I couldn't have said it better myself.