Quick Shot Film Review: Knock, Knock

2015
Directed by: Eli Roth
Category: Horror/Thriller

Eli Roth's Knock, Knock has got to be one of the stupidest, most infuriating films I've ever seen. Seriously, what a piece of s**t! Nearly every single aspect of this film is terrible; casting, acting, directing, WRITING!!, I will admit that I had fun watching this only because I watched it with my friends and we screamed and yelled at the stupidity the entire time. That was fun. But this film sucks. If you want to be annoyed in an entertaining way, rent it at Redbox for $1.25. But don't you dare spend any more money than that on this turd. 

I can't even bother to write a full length and proper review because of how awful this was. And I rarely ever lose it on a film like this, but holy fuck what a completely missed opportunity. It's just fucking terrible, and It's official, I've completely given up on Eli Roth.

My Top 10 Best Films in 2015

#10: Cop Car

Directed by: Jon Watts

This little known film from Clown director Jon Watts kind of slid under the radar for most people. Watts this time takes on the thriller genre and delivers a stunning piece of American Cinema.

Kevin Bacon is just fantastic as an evil sheriff who will do anything to cover his tracks, even if it means killing 2 kids after the kids find his cop car and decide to take it on a joy ride. The kids, both newcomers, are also exceptional.

Cop Car stands out from the crowd for a number of reason. For starters, the visuals are striking. Every shot is just gorgeous. The performances all around are all top notch, and while it takes a slow-burn approach, it's a helluva intense ride once things being to start taking shape.

This film caught us off guard in the best possible way and if you haven't seen it yet, we strongly suggest you do.
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#9: Bone Tomahawk

Directed by: S. Craig Zahler

Here's another "under-the-radar" treat. Novelist S. Craig Zahler adapted his own book into a feature length film and the results are incredible, daring, and totally unique. What at first comes off as a western, slowly unravels into an entirely different type of film, climaxing in an out-of-left-field finale that will surely leave your jaw dropped to the floor.

This would mark Zahler's debut behind the directors chair, and if this film is any indication, he has the goods to deliver rock solid entertainment, utilizing an outstanding ensemble cast, a clever script, and a sure-handed stance behind the camera. His simplistic approach to directing serves the film extremely well, and the authentic atmosphere, and some intense sequences, will leave you surprised at just how good this film is overall. But seriously, what a fucking ending.
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#8: The Hateful Eight

Directed by: Quentin Tarantino

It's safe to say, nobody makes films like Tarantino. The guy could be described as cocky and arrogant, but thankfully, he can back that up with genuine talent. He continues to be one of the best, most original and talented filmmakers out there, and each new film he announces is met with such enthusiasm that I'm always waiting to hear about his "next" project.

Hateful Eight is the kind of film that you just don't see in theaters anymore. Epic in it's scope, with all the ingredients that make QT's films so great. His most visually impressive and most confidant film to date, and certainly his most "talky", Hateful Eight benefits from an insanely awesome ensemble cast, and clever and witty dialogue that keeps you entertained 100% of the time. Be warned, it's 3 hours long and 90% of it takes place inside a cabin, which in an amusing and intriguing way, gives it an almost theater play-like quality.
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#7: Ex Machina

Directed by: Alex Garland

Screenwriter Alex Garland (28 Days Later, Dredd, Sunshine) makes his directorial debut with this subtle, yet incredible sci-fi masterpiece. To say Ex Machina is unique is an understatement. There are literally only 3 actors in the entire film, and what could easily be a theater play, minus the top-notch special effects, works amazingly well as a slow-burn sci-fi tale about artificial intelligence, and the repercussions of control.

Alex Garland proves himself a gifted director his first time out, apparently paying close attention to his Oscar winning director and frequent collaborator Danny Boyle. His visuals are nothing short of astonishing, offering a streamlined aesthetic that are some of the best you'll see in any film this year. This was the first time I'd ever seen a film with Oscar Isaac, and the guy delivers the goods here.

It's best to go in knowing as little as possible with this one. What I thought would be a standard sci-fi tale became more of a psychological thriller with enough twists and turns that constantly keep you guessing. That's brilliant storytelling right there.
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# 6: We Are Still Here

Directed by: Ted Geoghegan

In keeping with the "under the radar" theme, I give you We Are Still Here. Writer, producer, director Ted Geoghegan intricately recreates a Euro Horror vibe with this ghost story set in a small New England town circa the 1980's. It's hard to explain really why this film is so great. For us, we knew nothing about it going in, only that it had some strong positive buzz. It certainly lived up to the hype and then some. It's a solid ghost story, but there's more to it than that. Again, I find myself finding it hard to pinpoint what exactly, but it's good.....damn good.

I think what works in it's favor is it's acute attention to detail, starting with the gloomy undertones of Euro Horror. The cast, led by the great Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator), is also a plus. And when it comes to the gore and effects, this film went places we were not expecting at all. Easily one of the few surprises we came across this past year in indie horror, and one that is smart enough to fall under the "adult horror" sub-genre of films. Meaning, there's no cheap tricks or tacky jump scares in here to do the job. No sir, it's genuinely creepy in a mature way that makes it a great horror film for adults.
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#5: Jurassic World

Directed by: Colin Trevorrow

Before Jurassic World, nobody even knew who Colin Trevorrow was, as he seemed to have been plucked at random from obscurity to direct one of the most anticipated films of the last 10 years. And yet, he pulled off the unbelievable. He co-wrote and directed easily the best sequel in the franchise. No other film after the first Jurassic Park has been able to capture the magic, terror, fun and excitement that Spielberg's first film delivered....until now.

Trevorrow handles this monstrous film like a pro. If you didn't already know, you'd swear he'd been making films this big for years, only he hasn't. Yet everything that made that first film so great - the fun, intensity, terror, and epicness - are found in here, and it's a helluva ton of fun.

They really couldn't have found a better contender than Chris Pratt to be the new hero, and coupled with an eclectic ensemble cast, impressive visual effects, and a huge "fun" factor that the sequels had sorely been missing, Jurassic World easily ranks as one of the best family films in years.
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#4: Star Wars:
The Force Awakens

Directed by: J.J. Abrams

What can I say? I know this isn't the most original in the franchise, but when we were given 3 gawd-awful prequels, and had to wait 32 years for a true sequel, well, nostalgia got the better of me and SW:TFA  was arguably the best theater experience I can remember having in a long, long time.

J.J. Abrams reunites the original cast, and offers us a whole new set of hero's, in an all too familiar story that most say steals heavily from the very first film. But you know what? That's fine with me. It was a big, fun, popcorn flick that carried much of the same heart and soul that made the Lucas original so special. If I didn't have such a soft spot for Return of the Jedi (it's the only original Star Wars film I saw in the theater during it's original theatrical run), I'd probably put this before Jedi.

Abrams has taken great pains to replicate the look and feel of the classic original trilogy, so much so that some found it off-putting. But not me. I found it refreshing, and a fantastic start to a new series of films that we've been dying to see for 3 decades. And for that, I love the shit out of this film.
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#3: Deathgasm

Directed by: Jason Lei Howden

You know what Deathgasm is? Deathgasm is "the" heavy metal horror film we wished we had growing up as metal heads back in the 80's. We never really had one, except for Trick or Treat, which is also great, but Deathgasm is made with such a love for metal and horror, that if you were or are a true metal head, you'll appreciate this a helluva lot more than the average horror fan.

When this came out internationally first, buzz was big as it hit the festivals. It seemed to take forever for it to hit the states here, but when it did, we were not disappointed. Gore galore, authentically hilarious, and made with a passion for this little niche of horror, it was easily one of the most entertaining and hilarious horror films we've seen in some time.

Visual effects wiz Jason Lei Howden, who's worked on films like The Avengers to The Hobbit, tries his hand at writing and directing with this tale of teenage metal heads who unwittingly summon a demon by playing an evil song, and the results are spectacular. If you love horror, gore, heavy metal, and a good horror/comedy, look no further than Deathgasm!!
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#2: Turbo Kid

Directed by: Francois Simard, Anouk Wissell

80's nostalgia is at the heart of this low-budget throwback to 80's post apocalyptic action movies. One of the best things about this film though is that it's shockingly better and far more entertaining than 99.9% of the films it's trying to copy.

Munro Chambers (of Degrassi fame), stars as a teenager in a post apocalyptic wasteland who summons the persona of his favorite comic book superhero to take down a tyrannical overlord played by the one and only Michael Ironside.

Filled with insanely over-the-top violence, some truly stunning camera work, and one of the best synth scores to come out in decades, Turbo Kid ranks as one of the best throwback films in years, and one of the best films for those of use who grew up watching these films in the 80's. Drenched in nostalgia from beginning to end, and brimming with endless pop culture gadgets, Turbo Kid is made for that specific market of 80's action fan nerd, and it's fucking awesome.
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#1: Mad Max: Fury Road

Directed by: George Miller

We waited 30 years for a true Mad Max film, and with original Mad Max writer/director George Miller returning, it was absolutely worth the wait. If you haven't yet seen Fury Road, I feel sorry for you. It's arguably one of the best, most insane, most epic action films to come out in decades.

George Miller has tried his hand at everything from comedy to children's films, but action seems to be his calling. Though he hadn't directed an action flick since 1985's Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, he hasn't skipped a beat. In fact, he's only gotten better and stronger as both a visual and action director. Some of the shit he comes up with in here is downright insane, yet haunting and gorgeous at the same time. The film never slows down long enough for you to ever gaze over at your watch, but when it does, we're treated to some truly stunning eye candy that will blow your mind before the action kicks back in.

Tom Hardy is a solid choice for Max, but the film really belongs to Charlize Theron, who kicks all kinds of ass even though she's missing an arm, taking front and center in this outing.

Fury Road packs a visual punch unlike any other film you see this year, and George Miller produces some of the most intense, most astonishing, and most breathtaking action sequences ever put to film.

Prologue

I'd like to take this moment to apologize for my absence. It's been a few months, I know, and I fully intend to get my ass back in the saddle here. For the most part, the last few months, before October especially, had been consumed with planning my secret wedding, which by the way, was incredible. But then the holidays come around and with family and all that jazz, it's taken a while to get the groove back. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure anyone ever even reads my reviews, but for me, it's mostly about voicing my opinion about something I just saw and hopefully sharing these thoughts, and encouraging anyone else to see a particular film.

Anyway, I'm back, and I hope you stick around.

Film Review: The Hateful Eight

2015
Directed by: Quentin Tarantino
Category: Western

Last night I had the pleasure of seeing Tarantino's latest with some of my favorite movie pals. While it's a great film, I wouldn't say it's one of his best. It is, however, his most confident and his most talky film. Yes, all his films are filled with an insane amount of dialogue, but this easily takes the cake as it's really better suited as a theater play since 90% of the film takes place inside a cabin and the mystery of who these men really are begins to slowly unfold. In fact, Tarantino is indeed turning this into a play. It honestly feels more like an Agatha Christie mystery that just happens to be set in the old west, during a blizzard, with some clever, witty, and oftentimes hilarious dialogue that keeps things fresh and entertaining 100% of the time.

The violence, of what little there is (for a Tarantino film at least), is brutal and badass, and exactly what you've come to expect from QT's films. On a visual level, Tarantino continues to grow, and Hateful Eight is easily his most visually stunning film to date. It's just a shame that most of the best visuals come from the terrain and snow-covered scenery, which only really happens in the first half hour of the film. But, the 70mm Panavision format is strikingly gorgeous, and combined with Ennio Morrricone's stunning score, gives the film a grande look and feel that you just don't see anymore. Unfortunately this 70mm format doesn't work quite as effectively in the rest of the film that takes place inside the claustrophobia of the cabin. It still looks great though, with each shot carefully and meticulously planned, choreographed and executed.

Overall it's a great film experience. Stunning visuals, great score, superb casting (which he also excels at), and a strong narrative that drives the film forward with enough witty and clever dialogue that never comes off as boring or dull. Just be prepared to sit for 3 hours. In terms of script power, I'd put this ahead of Inglorious Bastards, but not better than the Kill Bill's and even True Romance. But that's just me.

The Delta Force Film Review

1986
Directed by: Menahem Golan
Category: Action

Like any teenager who grew up in the 80's loving action, of course I'd seen this. Hell, I had a video store poster hanging on my wall that I snagged from my local video store back in the day when they used to "give" them away. Now it's different of course. Now employees snag them themselves and sell them on eBay. But it was a different time back then. Anyway, I can't really recall why, but while I love 80's Chuck Norris, I never went back to revisit this particular film after that initial viewing as a kid. When I saw this on Netflix recently, and I was putting some new furniture together, I figured some good ol' 80's action would be nice to play in the background.

Delta Force surprised me from a number of different angles. First, it's really long, clocking in at 2 and a half hours. Second, shockingly, there's really not that much action in this thing. I'll get to that later. Third, the insanely large ensemble cast is really impressive. Fourth, this film is really dramatic, and for the first half of the film, kind of uncomfortable to watch. Lastly, Menahem Golan did a much better job directing this thing than he gets credit for. So let's dig in.

This is an unnecessarily long movie. The first entire hour is a drama, with zero action. Terrorists hijack a plane full of passengers and it's here where Delta Force surprised me the most. Mainly because I was expecting an action film, and instead was treated to a harrowing tale of survival aboard a plane held hostage by sadistic terrorists who have no qualms about torturing or killing on the spot. Though we're nearly 15 years after the events of 9/11, this film was still hard to watch, because it depicts events like what happened so long ago rather shockingly realistic and brutal. Of course this film was made over a decade before those events, but it's not any less uncomfortable to watch.

When the entire first hour consists of a hostage drama, I started to wonder if this was even an action film, because up to that point, I hadn't seen any. The action eventually comes around, at the 1 hour mark. It's sporadic, but it's there, eventually going full force in the last 30 minutes or so. Being an action fan, I was a little let down and more surprised than anything that for a film that pushes the action in it's advertising, there was very little in here. Though I will admit that the action that was here was done well.

The cast is damn near impressive. Sure you got Chuck, a severely underused Steve James (ain't that always the case?), legends Lee Marvin as Chuck's commander and Robert Forster as the main Lebanese bad guy, which he pulls off rather effectively. But the film is littered with numerous legends like George Kennedy, Martin Balsam, Lainie Kazan, Bo Svenson, Robert Vaughn, Shelley Winters and the list goes on and on. But the most fascinating thing I found about this, other than Robert Forster playing a Lebanese bad guy, is that Chuck doesn't make much of a presence until the second half of the film, The first half of the film focuses on the drama aboard the plane, the hijacking. The second half is Chuck coming in and kicking ass.

This film really does wear it's heart on it's sleeve. It's so overly dramatic in some areas, and overly cheesy in others. The film ultimately suffers because it forgets that its supposed to be an action film for well over an hour, and when the action finally does come around, you almost forgot it's supposed to be an action film. Yet it's oddly charming. It retains enough of what you expect when it's all said and done to keep you satisfied for the most part. One thing's for sure, you'll be humming the impossibly cheesy theme music for days afterwards.

After Hours Film Review

1985
Directed by: Martin Scorsese
Category: Dark Comedy

I don't know why, but for one reason or another, I never took the time to see this Scorsese cult classic. I guess I had known for a while he directed this, even though it's completely outside the realm of anything he typically does or is known for, but nothing about this film ever struck me as something I'd be interested in. It didn't help that this film is never mentioned.....ever. Not even when people are discussing Scorsese films. It's just kind of like the bastard child nobody ever mentions. Yet very sporadically, I'd come across the poster image. And still, nothing about that ever got me to get on IMDB or anything and look up what it was actually about, or to head on over to YouTube and check out the trailer. So I didn't, and man do I feel stupid now about that. 

When I recently came across this title on a list of underrated gems from a respected website I follow, it was just the push I needed to finally get on the ball. Luckily for me, a friend of mine happily lent me his copy. On a recent Saturday night, the Mrs.'s and I poured ourselves a glass of wine, and proceeded to have our minds blown for the next hour and a half by a film that is unlike anything you'd expect, either for a black comedy or a film directed by Martin Scorsese. 

Paul (Griffin Dunne) is a bored office worker. One night he meets a Marcy (Rosanna Arquette), a cute girl in a cafe. They quickly strike up a conversation centered around the Henry Miller book he's reading. When he decides to call her late that night, in the pretense of buying a piece of art from her roommate, but more hoping to see her again, little did he know that one single moment would lead him to a strange, dark, and unforgiving odyssey through downtown New York, and a journey that will change his life forever.

I can't stress enough how great Martin Scorsese's After Hours is. Not knowing what to expect going in, we were treated to a dark, surreal, nightmarish odyssey through the streets of New York circa the 1980's, all through Scorsese's brilliant eye. It's an odd and complicated movie to figure out. How much of it is reality and how much isn't is up to the viewer I gather, but all in all, After Hours is a surreal, oftentimes intense, sporadically darkly comical, daring and quirky piece of filmmaking that still surprises me that it was made in the 80's.

Before After Hours fell on his lap, Scorsese had recently seen his dream project Last Temptation of Christ fall apart, and he was left in a depression and wondering what he could do. This bizarre script by a first-time writer made it's way to him via his producing partner and he just knew he had to make it, cheaply, and going back to his indie roots. The success of this film was so great that he was finally able to in fact make Temptation a few years later.

Not everyone's cup of tea, and maybe too weird for the casual viewer, but a definite unique experience for film lovers. Also of important note, Scorsese won Best Director at Cannes that year for this, a fact I was completely unaware of. Had I known that, I know I would have gone to seek this out much sooner. After Hours is a weird journey, and we loved every second of it.

Laid to Rest Review

2009
Directed by: Robert Hall
Category: Horror

Lately, with planning my secret wedding and effectively pulling it off, I've take a few steps back from posting reviews because there's simply just no time. Now that the dust has settled and we can start breathing again, we've taken the opportunity to catch up on shows and films that have been piling up, but still, I haven't found myself running to the computer to write down my thoughts on them. I'm just enjoying the calm since I've missed it so much.

Last night was Friday the 13th, and because of that, we decided to screen a slasher for our movie crowd in honor of this rare date. When my wife and I sat down and tried to pick which Friday the 13th film we wanted to show, we realized that we had already shown the 2 best film in the series; Part 4: The Final Chapter & Part 6: Jason Lives, during past Friday the 13th honoring screenings. So we then decided to settle on a horror film, but not just any horror film. It had to be an old school style slasher in keeping with the Friday the 13th vibe. Doing some digging and research online we narrowed the choices down to Intruder and Laid to Rest. I've already seen Intruder and love it, but when I did some research on Laid to Rest, the consensus was pretty unanimous that this was a solid "new" slasher with some outstanding gore. Of all the sites I visited, I'd say the positive overall percentage would probably be about 80% positive, which in the horror genre is pretty damn good. So I was sold, and it was settled; Laid to Rest would be our slasher screening for Friday the 13th for our movie group.

I wish I could take that decision back. I wish we had just gone with an old favorite, or just gone the complete opposite direction and tried a new horror/comedy that I've had my eye on on Amazon called Gravy. But no, we chose this and we paid dearly for it. What's funny is that 2 members of the group had already seen this, and said they loved it. So with that, we were pumped and started the show. What resulted was one of the worst slasher films we've all ever seen. A dumb uninspired mess that shockingly misses a great opportunity to bring a new character and franchise to the slasher genre with bad direction, terrible dialogue, and a muddled, dull and unevenness that make it hard to stay focused while continuously looking at the clock. Not surprisingly, the 2 members of our group who had seen this already both agreed that it was bad, and were surprised that they liked it in the first place.

What's a shame is that while the film lacks a lot of what makes a solid horror film good, like decent character development for one, where the film does shine is in the gore and effects, which, quite honestly, are pretty outstanding for such a low-budget film. That isn't all that surprising since this films writer/director, Robert Hall, is a special makeup effects wiz, who's effects company Almost Human is responsible for a LOT of outstanding effects work in film and television. What's frustrating is that while the effects work is commendable for being traditional and for the most part, non-CGI, there just isn't enough of those kills and sequences to keep this oddly incoherent and disastrously amateur-looking effort from being a bore.

A few things surprised me about the casting in this. For one, the short cameo's, while not really all that spectacular, were solid enough to elicit audible comments like "She's in this?" and "Him too?!". You know who they are. You recognize them from more commendable work, and all in all, it was the little spice this film sorely needed to keep you invested. The primary actors were not bad, though the dribble they unfortunately had to droll out was embarrassing, made all the more cringe-worthy in their forced overly dramatic southern accents that felt so unnecessary and out of place. It's almost as if it's done on purpose, like caricatures you find in slashers, commonly known as "hicks". Maybe that was Robert Hall's intention after all? Kind of like how Rob Zombie infuses it endlessly in virtually all of his films, including his Halloween franchise. In either case, whether intentional or not, they all come off as silly in Laid to Rest, and it's really hard to take anyone or anything seriously.

While it's not always standard practice to give away "everything" about a killer in a horror film, at least "some" kind of history or motive, even in the smallest detail, would help you understand why anything is even happening. Unfortunately we are not afforded that luxury here. I can only assume writer/director Hall did this on purpose, saving the reveal or even the motive for the inevitable sequel. Which brings on another thought. He really must have been confident enough to know that he would eventually get the chance to make that sequel, because he reveals nothing about the killer in this, and it's incredibly annoying. As I never intend to actually watch the sequel now that I've seen the first one and do not like it, I'll just have to live with the fact that I'll never know why a killer - who never utters a word, or even winces or groans when he gets shot or mutilated in some form, and wears a rather rad looking chrome skull mask that he glues to his face - kills random people, and who seems to zero in on this one particular girl he just won't let go. None of it makes any sense and there's no rhyme or reason to any of it. That, coupled with the uneven tone, bad direction, bad writing, out of place southern accents, and long moments of boredom, make for a near excruciating experience.

Quick Shot Review: Bone Tomahawk

2015
Directed by: S. Craig Zahler
Category: Western/Horror

Up until a month ago, I hadn't even heard of this film. It seemed to literally come out of nowhere when a fellow filmgeek on Facebook posted a review of it from a random site. The title alone piqued my interest, so I did some digging and discovered it was some new horror/western film I'd never heard of before, starring Kurt Russell and written and directed by the guy who wrote the novel from which the film is based on. So yea, I'm sold. Fuck yea I am.

Released primarily on VOD a few weeks ago, Bone Tomahawk is a brave film, a film that if you had to categorize, you would be hard pressed to. If anything, it would most closely resemble the weird genre mix of Ravenous, but it's not like Ravenous in tone; Bone Tomahawk is it's own thing entirely. You could say it's mostly a western, but it's also clever and funny in a lot of the dialogue, yet then the film takes a huge detour and turns into something else entirely in the final act, something that would be considered a horror film set in the west.

Bone Tomahawk is unique to say the least, blending different genre's, ideas and themes into one mish-mash of a film that works so well you're pretty sure that had it had a theatrical run, it more than likely wouldn't do very well. How could it? How do you market a film like this? For those thinking it's a horror film, it might turn them off when they see that it's more of a western than anything. For those going in expecting a western, the abundance of gore and insane violence in the last act might shock them. Hell, it shocked even us seasoned gore hounds who didn't know what to expect.

I won't be including a synopsis on this one, because I went in cold, knowing nothing, and my experience was all the better for it. You should do the same. Just know that it's a western with some horror elements, that's oftentimes clever and funny, resulting in a wholly unique experience with some standout performances by Kurt Russell and Patrick Wilson, with a healthy dose of cameo's cult film fanatics will appreciate. Writer/Director/Author S. Craig Zahler does an outstanding job building tension, composing impressive shots, and getting the most out of his cast. I for one am looking forward to what he comes up with next.

Quick Shot Review: John Carpenter's Village of the Damned

1995
Directed by: John Carpenter
Category: Horror

As big a fan as I am of Carpenter, I guess I avoided this one all these years because of bad word of mouth. When we finally sat down to watch this on Halloween night, I regret feeding into that false mentality as this is indeed a very good film. Aesthetically impressive and on par with a lot of his best visual work, it's moody, atmospheric, and slow-burn approach drives the films moody overtone, culminating in a surprisingly satisfying conclusion. I'm surprised this doesn't get the same love that some of his lesser successful films like Vampires get. I can't explain it. 

It was great and simultaneously sad seeing Christopher Reeve on screen again, though I found him oddly miscast, as was Kirstie Alley. Regardless, he brings his A-Game and does a helluva job, especially in the third act. Great film experience overall and a highly underrated Carpenter gem.