Never Too Young To Die Japan VHS Cover

Never Too Young To Die Japan VHS Cover courtesy of robotGEEKSCultCinema.blogspot.com

I must admit, I'm a bit over the moon right now. I think I'm still in shock that I was actually able to get this in my hands after so many years. Here's my story, if you care to know.

This immediately became one of my all-time favorite films ever the second I was done watching this. Of course I had seen it upon it's first release in '86 on VHS, but hey, I was but a young lad and except for the fact that it starred Gene Simmons in drag and the sex scene between Vanity and John Stamos (which my mother made me close my eyes during!), I really didn't remember anything about it. Then I decided to check it out a few years back and to my surprise, this ended up being one of the biggest "WTF?!" films I'd ever seen. I mean, seriously. So much of this ridiculous film makes no sense! But it's so much fun! You can check out my original review HERE.

A few months after that re-acquaintance, I came upon an online shop that sold rare hard to find Japanese VHS tapes. I had purchased one of these tapes on eBay, and when I received my order it included a card to this shop from the same seller. So as I browsed this guy's selection on his official site, BOOM! There is baby was and it was cheap! I almost shit myself. I never knew this existed in the Japanese VHS market. Suffice it to say, it was an immediate impulse buy, a no fuckin' brainer. Then, a few days after my payment, I get a refund email with a note saying that unfortunately while the site listed this as for sale, they couldn't find the actual item in their inventory. It was like a punch to the gut. So naturally ever since then I've been on the lookout for one, to no avail.

Flash-forward to about a month ago and through the powers of the universe, I met a Japanese seller online who asked me to send him a list of movies I'm looking for. Out of that list, this was the only one he could find, but that's more than fine by me! Some negotiating back and forth and I have this beauty in my hands and I couldn't be happier. As much as I've been wanting this, the price he initially threw at me was just insane. I think with the current VHS explosion a good half of the sellers from all over the world just assume we will pay anything for these tapes, and that's just not the case. We know what they are worth and won't be suckered into paying ridiculous sums of money for a tape that in reality, not a lot of other people would want. And that's what I told the guy; that it was great he found one, and that I did in fact want it, but I know it's not worth what he wanted and I can guarantee nobody else would pay that price either.

So there you have it! I've got my Never Too Young To Die Japanese VHS Tape and the world is alright again.

VHS Cover Of The Day - Never Too Young To Die

Image courtesy of robotGEEK'SCultCinema.blogspot.com

This was one I received in the mail yesterday and one I reviewed back in July of this year (for a recap check out my review here), but I still feel this is a grossly overlooked gem in the 80's Trash Cinema genre. 

Truth be told though, I don't think that was the genre they were aiming for. I have a strong suspicion they were going more for a young James Bond kind of a vibe, but with some of the most WTF? creative decisions I've ever seen put to film, I don't think this film really had a chance for mainstream success. 

I love this film with a passion. It's definitely a product of it's time but it's so much more than that. First off you have original James Bond George Lazenby playing the dad of John Stamos's character, Lance Stargrove (if that's not a spy name, I don't know what is). By the way, both father and son are always referred to only as Stargrove, you know, like James Bond. But you also have Gene Simmons playing a hermaphrodite cult leader/lounge singer who, by the way, does a song and dance number so disturbing, the images will be burned in your brain forever. Also, you've got a frequently nude Vanity doing what she does best, looking good naked and often, and trying her best to deliver her ridiculous lines with a straight face. John Stamos is the perfect embodiment of 80's cheese and with him as the glue, it all comes together so horribly perfect. This film is so bad in the "awfully good" sense because of almost every single creative decision that went into making this from the casting, story, direction, editing and right down to the music and absurd script.....and I loved every second of it. If you've never seen this or haven't seen it since it's original release on VHS back in 1986, I strongly suggest asking a buddy for a copy or getting your own VHS copy since it's never had a DVD release or even a Laserdisc release if i'm not mistaken. I myself hadn't seen it since it's original release until I reviewed it back in July and I had such a blast with it.