I Marathoned the Transformers Movies and Here Are My Thoughts

Michael Bay's Big, Loud and Exhausting Franchise is Fueled by Heavy Metal Chaos and Pure Adrenaline

by robotGEEK

It's surprising to admit, but I've never seen any of Michael Bay's Transformers films until now, except for the first one. Admittedly, Michael Bay is a polarizing director because just even the mention of his name emits a strong reaction from literally everyone. And I'll admit, while I really loved his early stuff like The Rock, Bad Boys, and hell, even Armageddon, I've not been the biggest fan of his since. I don't really care for how he shoots films these days - the nonstop zany camerawork, quick edits and handheld style is hard for me to get into, and it's these very reasons that I tend to not really like a lot of current directors either because they all pretty much follow this trend. Just look at the guys who took over the Bad Boys franchise who somehow make Bay look tame compared to how they chaotically shoot. But I digress. 

Over the holidays I threw on the first film just to have something big and loud to watch having just seen the hella fun Battleship (2012), which reminded me a lot of a Transformers film. So I thought, since it's the holidays, why not just power through the entire franchise because finding a franchise I hadn't seen before is something I enjoy doing from time to time. I think we all know going into these that we're not going to get great art or anything, or even anything with a deep message or meaning. I think most of us go into these simply because we can shut out brains off and just watch something that's big, loud and impressively made, and that's exactly what I was looking for and honestly, these films delivered.

I should mention that one of the reasons I held off on watching these was because I just do not like the new Transformers designs. Having grown up on the cartoon, toys and magnificent feature length animated film, I had no desire to watch something that took such a wild detour from the traditional style we grew up loving. But yea, one day I saw the first film was on Netflix and thought, "what the hell, it's been nearly 20 years, lets give it a go". And I'm happy to say that for the most part, I'm glad I did. Like any long-running franchise, it's a mixed bag of quality from film to film for sure, but even in the bad ones, there are certainly things to admire, even if the film as a whole just wasn't very good. Let's begin. 

Transformers (2007)

I think the first thing that caught me off guard was Shia LeBeouf. I had forgotten he was in some of these when he was younger, and most importantly, I had forgotten how funny and charming he could be because um, we all know what he's like these days. His physical comedy in these films was a pleasant surprise and it was a pleasant reminder of the kind of actor he used to be. The film in general was good and enjoyable. I wouldn't say it's one of the best ones, but I liked what Bay was doing and how he shot it. This was at the point in his career where he began experimenting with his particular style, but still keeping the chaos at bay so to speak. That would come later. I guess restrained would be a better word, and it worked well. At the end of the day, it was enjoyable, but didn't knock my socks off, and I still didn't like their designs. 

Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen (2009)

This might be one of the weakest and roughest to sit through in the series. Everyone returns, but the energy is really off and I couldn't figure out why. It felt like one of those situations where they have all this money (the budget certainly looks bigger) and talent but it all feels like it's just going through the motions and there's just no love or heart in it. I was surprised, because I tend to love the sequels more than the first films. Ultimately it lays down some groundwork for things to come, but that's pretty much it. It felt tedious and rushed. One things for sure though, I was constantly surprised at all the familiar faces that pop up in all of these films. There are actors you would never expect to see in a Transformers film, but I think that adds to the fun.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Loved this one. For me personally, this is where the franchise comes alive and the action is just insane. Chaotic doesn't even begin to describe it, and even within the chaos, there is some mightily impressive set pieces in here. I found myself thinking, "there is so much beauty in this chaos", because the action, with it's mix of very impressive CGI, practical effects, insane stunts and a plethora of pyrotechnics done in a way I'd never seen before, it was all just so impressive. Whether you liked the story or not, I think we can at least all admit it's visually and technically impressive. This would also be the last one with Shia. I'm not sure if he was under contract to do a trilogy or whatever, but he did the first 3 and this was the last time we see him. Contract obligation or not, I'm sure he was ready to move on since these films look incredibly grueling to make. For me though, this one felt epic in a way I wasn't expecting and I loved that about it. In fact, I might just say that this was my favorite one. 

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

I quite enjoyed this entry as well. Mark Wahlberg replaces Shia LeBeouf in the lead and you know, he's actually pretty good. Mark might not be the strongest actor, and to be honest, sometimes he looks like he's just going through the motions in some films (I don't blame him though, the dudes a workhorse and makes a ton of films), but I really felt he was putting in the work here. I felt it was a solid follow-up to the events of the previous entry, Dark of the Moon, and pretty much kept kept everything in check regarding the tone, action, plot, effects and general vibe. Kelsey Grammar shows up in villain mode and does a fantastic job. There was a moment where he was coldly threatening Wahlberg at some point and I swear he could easily have voiced any of the robots because he sounded an awful lot like Peter Cullen for a minute. But that voice. It's so impressive. Because Michael Bay was using IMAX cameras for some of this one, he had to restrain the frenetic camerawork he typically uses since these cameras were so damn big and heavy back then, and the visual language was so much easier to take in and appreciate. The guy can deliver some stunning images sometimes, and he delivered that here as well as the previous entry. Sadly, this would the last Transformer film I enjoyed as the franchise begins to lose its legs with the next one.

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017)

With Ehren Kruger (Top Gun: Maverick, F1) exiting as screenwriter, the film suffers. After 4 pretty solid entries, this 5th one feels tired. The cracks are starting to show in the foundation and it was a bit too ridiculous (it's a Transformers movie, I know) for my taste. I can't even say that I was impressed by anything here really. I'm sure there were some impressive action, but I can't recall anything specific that stuck out. Mark Wahlberg returns, Anthony Hopkins joins the cast and it was just all too silly for me.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023)

Much like with The Last Knight, this one feels tired and the franchise has definitely overstayed it's welcome by this point. Introducing The Maximals (robot/animal hybrids) doesn't do the film any favors, although switching Michael Bay for Steven Caple, Jr., gives the film a completely different feel and vibe. And on the plus side, you can actually see whats happening in the action because Caple, Jr. doesn't throw the camera around the way Bay does. But that's about all the praise I have left for this one because it definitely feels like it's time to say goodbye at this point. To be honest, I didn't even finish it. 

Final Thoughts:

I'm glad these films exist because we need mindless epic entertainment sometimes. These are great films to watch with your kids or younger siblings, and despite the varying quaity from film to film, there is a lot to love about them, even the bad ones. Dark of the Moon and Age of Extinction (Parts 3 & 4) were my favorites, Revenge of the Fallen is the weakest, and the last 2 have worn out their welcome by this point. These films are not easy to make, and the amount of technical wizardry needed to pull them off is so impressive. Not many directors can handle that amount of chaos happening in a single frame all at once. At their core, these films are heavy metal chaos charged with pure adrenaline and carnage, and there's something to admire about that. It's funny, there are plenty of moments where I just could not tell who was fighting who or what was going on because of the way Michael Bay shoots and how they designed the robots, but I didn't necessarily care either. 

You may have noticed I left out Bumblebee (2018), but that's on purpose since it's a solo film and I think it works best on it's own. Funnily enough, it's one of the better Transformer films too. I've read that Michael Bay wants to do one more, as he sees this franchise as his baby and would like to return for another outing, but at this point he's been making these for nearly as long as James Cameron has been working on the Avatar films, and sometimes it's best to just move on. 

Review: Tapawingo (2024)

 

2024

Directed by:  Dylan K. Narang

By robotGEEK

Nate Skoog (Jon Heder) is a young adult living in small town America where he and his best friend Will aimlessly live their lives trying to figure out what to do for a living. When Nate becomes obsessed with the idea of becoming a mercenary-for-hire in his town, he takes a job protecting a high school kid from bullies. When a fight between a couple of town bullies goes too far, Billy Zane shows up and turns up the heat, resulting in a showdown to test his worth.

I have to admit, I quite enjoyed this charming and quirky little comedy. On one hand it feels and looks like a cousin to Napoleon Dynamite and feels like it exists in that very same universe, but on the other it works entirely on it's own merit. It's adorable and earnest with a stacked cast of fun character actors that include Gina Gershon, Billy Zane, John Ratzenberger, Amanda Bearse and more.

Tapawingo is filled top to bottom with some very inventive and zany camerawork, a surprisingly great soundtrack full of classic hits, a fun poppy score by Jacob Yoffee, and a very lighthearted silly tone that is honestly a bit refreshing these days. You could even say it functions in the same genre as Nacho Libre. That's the tone we have here and again, it's refreshing because we rarely get these types of comedies anymore. Most filmmakers these days just don't care about the visual language of a film, instead choosing to shoot loose, fast and freestyle, whereas here director Dylan K. Narang does a fabulous job with the framing and compositions of each and every single shot. It's all thought out methodically in a way you rarely ever see anymore, and it's impressive.

Zane shows up and barely utters a single word, but brings with him an intense aura of cool. Gershon was fantastic as a lovestruck coworker who still lives in the world of 80's heavy metal bands, while Skoogs best friend and partner Will (Jay Pichardo) in his mercenary-for-hire gig balances out the ensemble.

This film exists in a wonderfully constructed world where you can't gauge what decade you're in, which I really love and admire. From the costume design, production design, color palette and score, to the quirky performances and impressive soundtrack full of classic staples, Tapawingo is a breath of fresh air. If I had any issues, it would just be that it feels like it runs a tad too long, maybe by about 15-20 minutes. But be that as it may, I know I will find myself revisiting this little gem quite often. 

Check out the official trailer below:

https://youtu.be/dOsmAExV1KQ?si=f4SJhpoD0XibEOE_ 

Review: I Saw The TV Glow

2024

by robotGEEK

For some reason people aren't talking about this gem and that's a true crime. Admittedly, this just seemed to pop up out of nowhere for me and I haven't seen anything about it online, nor have I randomly come across a trailer. I also didn't know it was an A24 production, which honestly should tell you all you need to know about whether to jump into this one or not. 

Set sometime in the 80's, 2 painfully awkward teens bond over their love for a TV show, which may or may not be altering their realities. 

That's really all I can tell you without ruining anything for you, but rest assured it's damn good. On one hand, its a coming of age story, and on the other, it's a mindfuck of an experience that fans of Stranger Things will appreciate. The first half is pretty straightforward as we are introduced to these 2 teens and I will say, I was a bit surprised and somewhat confused. I half expected this to be somehow related to horror, so when it was playing out like a nostalgic trip down memory lane, I didn't mind because it was very well done, creative, edgy and engaging. But let me tell you, hold onto your hats because things get wild in the second half and you're not prepared for it. 

One of the things I loved about this was that I never knew what was going to happen from one moment to the next. That's really impressive. And I also enjoyed how they really captured that incredibly awkward age of high school so well, when we are weird and still trying to understand ourselves. Writer/director Jane Shoenbrun (We're All Going to the Worlds Fair) does one helluva job infusing the film with raw tension, striking visuals and an originality that reminds me once again that A24 is top tier. 

This was as surprise at nearly every turn in nearly every department that's rounded out by a killer soundtrack and easily one of the best films I've seen this year. Streaming on Amazon Prime

I know I keep saying this, but I'm definitely going to try and keep up with this website moving forward. Sorry for the absence. My life fell apart and it took a long time to pick up the pieces. 

Documentary Spotlight: The Unbinding (2023)

by robotGEEK

The team behind the excellent docu-series Hellier (2019), Greg and Dana Newkirk, return with this documentary about a mysterious haunted object that was found in the woods that wrecks havoc on anyone who possesses it, and their attempt to return it back to it's original resting place. 

Occult experts Greg and Dana Newkirk, along with their eager friend Tyler, upon discovering the mysterious artifact, do a helluva job uncovering its secrets, history, origin and ultimately it's purpose. Then they need to figure out a way to return this artifact back to where it belongs, which is not as easy as you would think. 

Reteaming with their friend Kark Pfeiffer, who also directed Hellier for them, this documentary is a nice companion piece to their previous and effectively creepy series, especially if you're in the mood for something witchy. Greg is such a likable and personable guy while his wife Dana comes off pretty intense. It's a good balance really, while their young friend Tyler gets so excited about anything related to the paranormal, he adds that little bit of charming naiveté to the mix, like a little kid excited for his birthday.  

Available to rent on Amazon Prime

The Cult Corner: Altered States (1980)

by robotGEEK

"The most terrifying experiment in the history of science is out of control...and the subject is himself"

I forget what the reason was or how it was brought up, but recently Altered States was mentioned on my Instagram (@robotgeek) and it got me thinking that I hadn't seen it in ages. I grabbed my old snapcase DVD and threw it on that night and was completely floored by this experience for a number of reasons. First and foremost, I was floored by how good this was. Secondly, that I hadn't remembered a thing about it, and third, that nobody ever talks about it, which is kind of shocking to me.

This is one of those film experiences that I simply adore. The kind that sort of shocks you in a good way and reminds you why you love movies so much. Altered States, if I had to compare, reminded me a lot of David Cronenberg's The Fly (1986), a bit of The Exorcist and also Brainstorm (1983); a sort of hybrid of body horror and science fiction, even though this came out many years before The Fly. Everything about this production is top-notch. William Hurt was good and hungry (you can tell), Bob Balaban is always a treat to watch when he pops up in films from this period (Close Encounters of the Third Kind, 2010), but the real scene-stealer was Blair Brown who absolutely delivers a knockout performance as the long-suffering wife. 

I think that one thing that dramatically elevates this film to a much higher level overall is the absolutely stunning cinematography by the legendary Jordan Cronenweth (Blade Runner). It's an absolute stunner to look at with every shot a breathtaking work of art. Coupled with director Ken Russell's direction, it's a masterclass in visual storytelling. It's so surprising to me that it didn't leave a stronger impression on me when I originally watched it the first time around years ago. It's now a personal favorite. I actually immediately got online to upgrade to blu ray but decided that I'm perfectly happy with the grainy look of the DVD. I feel it adds to the aesthetic. While I have seen a few of Russell's films such as Lair of the White Worm, Gothic, Crimes of Passion and The Devils, none of them really stood out to me in any fundamental way other than thinking they were strange films. I guess it's time to revisit them and see how I feel about them today. 

Wonderfully trippy, gorgeously executed with some stellar performances, stunning visuals and a riveting subject matter, Altered States is an overlooked gem that begs to be discovered. 

90's Action Attack!: Digital Man (1995)

 

by robotGEEK

80's & 90's low-budget sci-fi/action should be a genre all on it's own, because some real gems came out of that period, and I'm still discovering some of them even to this day, like this one. Funnily enough, I've had this VHS for so many years I can't remember, but I never got around to watching it for some reason. Recently when I decided to sell of the majority of my collection, I decided to finally give it a watch and well, I fucking loved it. I had no clue what to expect, only knowing that it has a kickass title and stars Mathius Hues (Dark Angel) as the titular Digital Man.

First off, it's awesome. What I took away from this was that it looked and felt like Captain Power (are you old enough to remember that?), only 100 times better. I guess with a title like Digital Man, I was expecting a lot of really bad CGI, thinking a good chunk was going to take place in a virtual reality world like a bunch of others that came out around this time, but I was wrong...thankfully. This film takes place primarily in a desert town filled with a surprising amount of notable character actors you'll surely recognize. And because it takes place in said environment, they can go crazy with the pyrotechnics, and boy do they ever. This this is filled to the brim with nonstop action and an insane amount of explosions. It's never boring, and overall looks surprisingly good. Hues barely utters a word, but is intimidating with his size and giant hand cannon. 

Being as it's never been officially released on any other format other than VHS here in the states (maybe Laserdisc?), I think I'm going to hang on to this tape and keep it with my collection of films that have never made the leap to digital yet. 

You can score the VHS for generally cheap, but I know there's an upload of it on YouTube somewhere. Other than that, I don't know of it streaming anywhere. 

New Film Review: Spaceman (2024)

by robotGEEK

I caught this today and I absolutely loved it. Slow sci-fi is my jam, but slow surreal sci-fi drama? Even better. Adam Sandler plays a cosmonaut named Jakub who is on a year-long solo mission to Jupiter to collect samples from a mysterious pink cloud that has been coloring the skies of the planet earth for 4 years. Jakub and his wife Lenka (Carry Mulligan) also happen to be in relationship turmoil as she’s about to give birth to their child on earth while Jakob is away, coincidentally dealing with his inner demons, when an alien visitor suddenly appears on Jakubs ship. This alien (voiced by the tremendously soothing voice of Paul Dano) is fascinated by this human cosmonaut, and even more so by the emotional and psychological toll this trip has taken on him. Is Jakub hallucinating? Is the alien real?

I can already tell this is going to be a hot one they will divide people. I thought it was fantastic. Bleak drama-driven sci-fi is a genre I adore and Sandler gives a haunting performance as a man who’s tired, lonely, stubborn, and oblivious to the fact that he has personal demons he’s never addressed. Mulligan (who was just nominated for an Oscar) plays his long-suffering wife and does a great job. I loved the tone, the effects, the surreal aspect of not knowing of what is happening is really happening or not, the beautiful haunting score and the retro aesthetics. Ultimately it’s a film about love, a connection, our self-sabotaging tendencies and what matters the most. I can’t recommend this one enough. What a pleasant surprise.

Streaming on Netflix

New Film Review: Poor Things

by robotGEEK

Generally I tend to focus my reviews and posts on older films, anywhere from the 70's on through the early 2000's, which is wild to think that the aughts era is already sort of retro. Time flies! But I just saw this film last night and I thought it was incredible and I haven't stopped thinking of it since. 

I knew nothing going into this. I hadn't seen the trailer (not sure why), and to be honest I've never seen a film from director Yorgos Lanthimos. It looked fantastical and I found it an unusual film to get so many Oscar nominations, but since it did, I figured it would be worth checking out, and boy was it. 

Bella (Emma Stone), a recently deceased woman, is brought back to life (re-animated is a more appropriate term) by an eccentric doctor, brilliantly played by Willem Dafoe. As Bella begins to experience life with a new brain, she becomes deeply aware of both the pleasures and cruelty's of the world. We follow her life and these experiences through her naive eyes as her adventures take her all over the world, culminating in her discovery of her former self before she died. 

Poor Things is one of the best film experiences I've had in years. Think something along the lines like as if Terry Gilliam, Tim Burton and Jean-Pierre Jeunet had gotten together and made a film when they were in their prime. It's a strikingly beautiful, fascinating and unusual film, yet a very special experience. Wildly eccentric, whimsical, bizarre and unconventional in the most unexpected way. It was also shockingly erotic, which was a surprise. I mean, there is a lot of sex in this film. Hugely fantastical with a bit of steampunk and a lot of imagination, I can wholeheartedly say that Poor Things is unlike anything I've ever seen. 

As I mentioned earlier, I was surprised to hear of all the nominations for a film of this genre, but after having finally seen it, I get it. It absolutely deserves all of those nominations, even if it doesn't win any of the major ones. The recognition is completely deserved, not the least for Emma Stone's thunderous and brave performance, Yorgos' incredible and unconventional direction, the jaw-dropping set, art, costume and makeup design, and a haunting score by Jerskin Fendrix. If you're a fan of visual arts, this is a must-see experience. 

Streaming on Hulu Plus

I'm Baaaaaaack.....

Hello everyone, and if you're one of my regular followers, thank you for having stuck around during my very long absence. I had a very difficult 2 years. The worst 2 years of my life if I'm being honest, and needed to step away and focus on my life, which had completely fallen apart in December of 2021. It's taken me this long to pull myself together and while I can't say I'm back to my old self 100%, I do feel a lot better than I have since 2021. 

Despite my life being in turmoil, I still managed to watch an insane amount of films and shows during this hiatus, and pretty much kept my focus on my Instagram page, which is where I have my biggest audience. I do love it on there though because it allows me to interact in real time with my followers through commenting and private messages. So if you're on Instagram, please give me a follow at @robotgeek. I'd appreciate it! 

So just wanted to say that I'll try really hard to get back to posting regularly, along with some paid review gigs here and there. 

Thanks for sticking around. 

~robotGEEK